Breaking the Freeze: Techniques to Manage the Freeze trauma response and Foster Inner Peace

Feeling frozen by the distressing news from Ghazza? Discover the transformative power of understanding and managing your trauma response. Join me on "In Peace" as we navigate the overwhelming feelings of helplessness and paralysis, particularly through the lens of the "freeze" response. By recognizing these emotions as natural and valid, we cultivate self-compassion and patience, which are essential for healing. Learn how acknowledging our trauma can become a stepping stone to reconnecting with our lives and transforming these emotions into positive actions that support those affected.

We'll delve into practical techniques to manage the freeze response, especially when triggered by the relentless flow of news on social media. 

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Chapters

• 0:01 Navigating Feelings of Helplessness in Trauma
• 18:33 Empowering Techniques to Break Freeze Response
• 41:13 Empowering Breakthroughs in Trauma Response

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, peace be upon you wherever you are on this planet. Welcome to In Peace with me, delene Abou-Chaban, where we come every week to listen, to reflect, heal and to grow. Let me start with asking you to share in peace with your networks, with your friends, and when you do this, you'll play peace. We create more peace in this world, which is really important during these times when we all bear witnessing one of the most difficult events that I have ever witnessed in my lifetime and in the history, really, of the ongoing genocide, the ongoing ethnic cleansing. So, in times like this, it's very important to have handy content that help us all to move through it, to navigate through such times with keeping our own inner peace. And this is what really brings the topic of today's episode, which which really was inspired by questions from one of the audience who asked how she can deal with her feelings of helplessness during these times that, since the start of the genocide, she doesn't know how to deal with it affecting her life and her productivity and her life in general. And I'm very grateful for for her question because it really inspired this, the topic of today's episode, which I thought why not share it with everybody because we all felt this way, or some of us are still feeling this way, and it's very empowering to have understanding where does this feeling come from, how we can help ourselves through this feeling to keep going and to keep the positive action that we can take in our own capacity to improve the situation in Gaza, instead of being a burden on them by just feeling helpless and not knowing how, how to deal with it or what to do through it. No, we can empower ourselves through understanding ourselves. Understanding where these emotions, where these feelings come from or even state of being rather than emotions and how we can deal with them, how we can deal, how we can walk ourselves through them to be able to do more and turn it into action to bring positivity to the world, as we can.

Speaker 1: 4:17

So, feeling of helplessness, feeling or feeling paralyzed, really through everything we see, you see on the social media, all this overwhelming content that humanity witness at the moment, and so we feel helpless. You can have this feeling of helplessness, of feeling stuck or paralyzed. So what is this feeling? What? Where does it come from? And it really is a trauma response. And what we're witnessing? It is really a trauma Having to bear witness this through the screens. Seeing our brothers and sisters and humanity being killed, being displaced, being, you know, stripped from their very basic human right of course, is a huge trauma. So the helplessness, the paralyzed feelings, it's a really trauma response and it's actually called the freeze response to the trauma that we are seeing through the screens.

Speaker 1: 6:06

So trauma response usually is fight or flight. So basically, when the brain feels that the overwhelming event or problem that someone is going through, a, when the brain feels it's beat's, when you're able to escape the situation, when you're able to to be fast and and getting out of this experience, this is the other brain response to the trauma. But when the event is too overwhelming, when it's too much for the brain to deal with, when it's too much to fight or flight, the automated reaction or the automated response to the brain is freeze, the freeze response, freeze response. And many people, when they have this response, when they feel in a state of helplessness or feeling paralyzed, they feel ashamed, they feel useless and they don't. They don't know what to do, they don't know how to get themselves out of it. But you really should never feel ashamed of of feeling this way because it's a very natural response for your brain. So, basically, our brains are made to keep us safe, to keep us alive, and and they don't know when there is a real threat or when there is threat, or when there is the threat through the screens also, it affects us and this is what where everybody really a experience when they see what's going on in Gaza and don't. The most important thing is don't judge yourself, don't also don't push yourself and also never. The best way of containing this is to have self-compassion. Have self-compassion through it and hug yourself through it, because this is not your fault. It's overwhelming events of a way of your brain of protecting you from the intensity of what's going on, of what you see through the screens, and this is how the freeze happens.

Speaker 1: 10:05

But, of course, if, if you feel stuck and don't know what to do, whatever you do in your day-to-day life interacting with your children if you have children or interacting with your co-workers, interacting with anyone you come across becomes like you're not really present there and you're just doing it like from an automated reaction kind of. But you're not fully there because you're feeling stuck within these feelings and it really makes you feel that you're very disconnected from everybody and everything around you. And this can be dangerous because it really disconnects you from your own life. It disconnects you from your own being, um, and if you don't know how to deal with it, you'll struggle to find contentment, you'll struggle to find joy when something good can happen in your life, um, and you'll keep struggling with these feelings of of freeze and shame, um. So this is why it's very important to validate yourself. Okay, now you understand where this feeling is coming from. Okay, it's natural it's a trauma respond. But it can be difficult and dangerous to keep in this state because you'll all be disconnected from your own life. You'll feel very paralyzed, very powerless.

Speaker 1: 12:31

But we can train ourselves to break out of the freeze respond. So you have the power to choose to help yourself through this time through the freeze respond. You have the power to break out in so many different ways, but you need to have the willingness to help yourself. Also, you need to have the patience, because you need to be patient with yourself through these times. It's not easy, um, to witness what we're witnessing, but also, we want to be a helping part during this time. We are privileged enough that we are not there, but we do want to be an extra burden we can help ourselves through the freeze response to be in benefit for Gaza and for the world really. So there are ways through it really. So there are way through it, and these ways are different and it can work differently for everyone. So we'll see what works for you and take it.

Speaker 1: 13:54

But before going into the ways, it's very important to understand what are the symptoms. Okay, we said that you can feel helpless, you can feel paralyzed, but what does it really feel like? What are the symptoms? Does it really feel like? What are the symptoms? So, basically, the, the typical symptom that you feel. You can feel your muscles like they're locked up so you feel you're really losing ability to push yourself. The very easy task of getting up out of that couch feels very difficult now, and this is one of the symptoms of the freeze response. So you feel like you're losing control of your muscles and you just want to keep just sitting in frozen there.

Speaker 1: 15:02

Another symptoms can be you can experience feelings of overwhelming, um, feelings of numbness. You feel numb and not feeling anything. Nothing really, um, entertain you or, or, you know, get you to do things. So you feel very numb. Also, the feelings of detachment, so you can see people talking around you or moving around, but you feel like you're in your own bubble and very detached from whatever situation you're in. You're detached from the surroundings around you because you are in that freeze response tell. So that's another symptom of detachment. A. Sometimes another symptom can be you can feel shaky or very from like feeling really cold and shaky. A. That's another very typical symptom of freeze a. Sometimes you can feel yourself heavy or stiffness. These are all typical freeze response symptoms. Even sometimes your breath you can notice it might change or you find some difficulty in your breath or some strange poses. Again, this is natural. It's a very typical freeze symptom.

Speaker 1: 17:10

So it's very important to understand, to have the awareness of these symptoms so you don't judge yourself. You understand where these are coming from. Maybe you experience these symptoms after you. You spend some long time on social media following the news, following what's going on, and you have the right to to follow social media. You have the right to do that and keep that and actually in doing that we honor these human beings, that they are seen, they are heard. We care about them and for them. So I'm not pushing you away from from watching or seeing what's going on. Um, personally, I feel it can be the least we can do during these times to honor these human beings, but, again, also remember to look after yourself and and be aware of these symptoms when they come, because they can come more when you see these things and you don't know what to do.

Speaker 1: 18:33

Um, so, yeah, having the awareness that when you choose to pick up your phone and see these, you know what's going on, the updates, the news on social media. Be prepared that you might experience these symptoms. You might feel stiffness or heaviness, feel stiffness or heaviness, a you might feel your breath is changing, your heartbeat is changing, a you might feel your muscles locked up, you might feel you might have feelings of detachment, of numbness. So all these things you will experience whenever you come across some posts and some. You know the most difficult scenes that we witness every day. So when you have that awareness, it's very empowering.

Speaker 1: 19:33

And you are aware this is the freeze response, this is my brain trying to protect me from the intensity of what's going on, from the intensity of what I'm witnessing. And, again, this is your way to honour these people. And, of course, we have the privilege that we can have break of seeing a what we see, what's happening and, yeah, so, understanding the symptoms, having the self compassion through it that this is my brain trying to protect me, all this helps. Come on, so, how we can train ourselves to break out of the freeze. Respond so there are different ways that you can take, you can do, you can help yourself through it um, just taking a drink, two seconds. So, and these ways, really, anybody can, can, can put them into action, can can put them into action.

Speaker 1: 21:06

And again, when you do it intentionally, intentionally and consciously to help yourself, to help your body get out of this freeze, response is very, very important. And the first one I'd say it's really engaging, re-engaging with your body because, as we said, this is our brain trying to keep our body safe. So the best first thing to do is to re-engage with your body, feel your body, hug yourself and do anything that helps your body, helps your brain understands that you're actually safe, that you are in a safe environment. Hug yourself, do some exercise, like very light exercise, or even just clapping, clapping your hands um, it's a very good way to for your body to understand that you're actually safe and and because your body is is working fine, functioning fine, so clapping your hands, jumping in your place, also shaking, like, pretend you're shaking your body. It's like you're shaking the stress out of your arms, your hands, your legs. So shake your body. Arms, your hands, your legs. So shake your body. It's a great way also to to get out of this feeling of of, of paralyzed or helplessness or the the state of freeze. So shake your body, dance. I know maybe you're not in the mood to dance, but just for the sake of shaking your body, for the sake of sending signals to your brain that you are safe and there is no need to to keep the freeze respond because you are safe, your body is is working fine, it's functioning fine, so make sure to re-engage the body, send to send the right signals to our brain, remind our brain that we are safe. And when the brain realizes that, it helps us to process more information, how we really can take action, how we really can take positive action that helps us to do something about the situation we're in and particularly we're talking about what we're witnessing, of the ongoing genocide. When we re-engage our bodies and our brain feels safe again, we help ourselves to get out of the freeze response so to process information, what we can do more to help again. Do anything that gives you a sense of control over whatever you're doing at the moment, to give yourself a sense of power and that, again, will help you get out of that freeze response. So, re-engage your body, so you have information, what action you need to do, that gives you power, that gives you control of the things that you can control, because we we know that there are things that we can't control in the current situation anyway. So, and then the other thing is movement. Move your body. Go for a walk, even if you don't feel like it, push yourself, yalla, just go put your shoes on and go straight away for a walk. And they want to remind you something through these tips that can help, can help you out of the freeze.

Speaker 1: 25:55

A state is, when you do these things, do them intentionally and consciously, do them with love. Don't do them because you want to get out of this so quickly or because you're judging yourself oh, I shouldn't feel this way. I need to do something straight away, or I need to be in benefit straight away, or or or you feel guilty. So, no, don't do out of guilt, or don't do out of fear or out of self-judgment. No, don't do. Do it with love. Do it because you want to help yourself, because you're compassionate with yourself, because you deserve to, to move forward and and take action out of power, not out of helplessness, um. So, yeah, this is, I thought, is a an important reminder when you do these things, um, to do them out of love and out of self-compassion rather than do them out of a self-judgment, because it'll inspire you also a more effective action to take and you'll feel really empowered.

Speaker 1: 27:31

So, move your body walk, run, dance, whatever movement. It will really help you to get out of that a freeze, because they remind your body that you can move, that you are safe to move a. So movement is very empowering one also the other one it really takes us back to last week how we were talking about self-awareness, self-knowledge, and one of the tips we were talking about is knowing our triggers. So know your triggers. When do you feel free or helpless, or paralyzed? Know the triggers and know the symptoms. So, as we were saying, a the trigger can be you picking up your phone and seeing a horrific scene, a witness in a heartbreaking, a update or news. So this can be your trigger and then realize also the the symptom of the freeze, after you were triggered in that way, um. So when you have this, you will know what, when to take action and what action to take to help yourself out of the freeze a mode, if you like, um, and then again it'll help you to the next step of getting of how to break out of the freeze, which is grounding yourself. So when you you know your triggers, know the symptoms, you'll know that it is time to ground myself.

Speaker 1: 29:37

So do anything that can help you ground yourself. Go outside, walk in nature, hug a tree. I know sometimes we can feel guilty or or is this the time to do this, but you need to help yourself because when you work on yourself and help yourself, that again contribute, and when you do it intentional of that, you're doing it also to help people of Gaza. That really creates a healing impact because you had that intention. So ground yourself, walk in nature. There are different ways to ground yourself, so anything that can helps you do it, nature is a blessing. Walk in nature, go a, you know, walk barefoot on the sand, on the grass, experience this. It'll all help you out of the freeze mode. Also, engage with your senses. It's a very great way to ground yourself again and to heal and break out of the freeze symptom.

Speaker 1: 31:15

A so go a smell. Anything that you love could be lavender, yasmin, any smell that helps you, help soothe you, ground you back. A let yourself notice the beautiful bird singing, notice the small details that you see around you. So try to use all your senses mindfully and this all helps in in grounding you and getting you out of the freeze mode. Mode also, exercise, which is related to the movement. So any kind of exercise, if you go to the gym, go to the gym, go for a run, walk, a swimming is basically an exercise and grounding both together. So it's a great way to yeah, I mean, if you swim in the sea anyway, it's a great way to ground you and to help you out of the is mood.

Speaker 1: 32:42

So why exercise is so important? Because exercise really creates excitement. So our brain becomes excited again and and understands that we're actually safe and we're okay, and this again calms the nervous system down and then the rest and digest response come back and we feel very in peace and very relaxed and very relaxed because now our brain knows that we're safe, we're okay, we're actually excited and doing all these exercises. So push yourself to do what you feel right for you. Do it Again.

Speaker 1: 33:52

It's a good way to remind yourself that you can control yourself. You can control your reaction. You can control your reaction. You can control how to react next time when you see something on social media. So we can train our brain how to respond next time and, instead of having the freeze respond, we can empower our brain to respond with something else. Okay, you saw something, get up and and do whatever. You can organize something. Go on the streets, like whatever helps you to let the anger out, to let the feelings of helplessness out. So you can change yourself. You can change this freeze reaction and it's all about training the brain how to respond when we see these things.

Speaker 1: 35:07

Of course, we don't want to become numb and not feel anything when we see. No, but we want to train. You want to train yourself how to react, how to respond, how to react, how to respond and take action straight away, rather than the freeze every time you see something, or the blame, the guilt. So we train ourselves how to get out of this with compassion, with awareness, and then the other thing that can really help you out or freeze respond is a envisioning the safety in your head. So close your eyes and see yourself in your safest place or the most beautiful place, the closest place to your heart. Imagine yourself there and when you imagine that, the the brain can feel all the feelings that you feel when you're in that place. So you feel safe again and you're out of the feelings of numbness. You are out of feeling paralyzed because you are imagining you're taking yourself back to a safe memory, a safe place that you felt loved and safe.

Speaker 1: 36:43

And this particular one I love because it really reminds me how, how obviously I was. I was raised in Gaza, I lived in Gaza, I lived through um, you know war, different wars, so I remember myself as a child Ray whenever you know bombing happens or anything like that. So I always start talking about stories of good memories. We had, in particular, holidays as a family and I always did that as a child to to distract the attention of my younger siblings of the difficult reality and we lived through through remembering these, these beautiful memories, and and this actually helped us through these and um, and then growing up and and studying trauma and seeing this as as a way out of the freeze respond it's really yeah. Respond. It's really yeah, it's really fascinating and it's really effective way. I mean from my own experience. Um, so it's a great way to to have a memory when you felt happy, safe, loved. I'll get you out of the freeze. Respond and help you move forward.

Speaker 1: 38:38

And also, one important thing is really change the way you see things. So change the way you see the freeze. Respond don't because most of the time when people experience freeze, they can judge themselves I shouldn't feel this way and they try to block these the way they are at that moment through self-judgment. So it's important to change that and and see as okay. Freeze is a natural response for my brain to keep me safe and I have the power to help myself to break out of it. So when you change how you talk to yourself about it, it really empowers you to break out of it in a faster way, in a compassionate way. So it's very important to do that, to not judge yourself through healing, not judge yourself through breaking out of the freeze.

Speaker 1: 39:57

Respond and always have self-compassion, have patience with yourself, because you deserve peace, you deserve healing, you deserve to help yourself and when you help yourself through the freeze-respond that you can experience more when we see what we are bear witnessing and help yourself through it quicker. You empower yourself to take action. You empower yourself to be in benefit for people of Gaza. You empower yourself to to send them healing vibes, prayers, and and be conscious how we, how more action we can take to support them. And I really hope that these steps helped you and so we really covered what is feeling helpless or paralyzed.

Speaker 1: 41:13

It's like. Where does it come from? It's a trauma response. What are the symptoms of the freeze response? What are the skills that we can have or the tips and tools that we can have to break out of the freeze response and how it is important to have self-compassion and purify ourselves from self-judgment through it, to be able to get out of the freeze response quicker every time and even change it to action, positive action that can help and empower ourselves, empower our beautiful human beings who are struggling at the moment, and then we can help in creating peace within and in our outer world. So may peace be with you all and I'd love to hear from you your comments, your feedback and what was the most beneficial thing that you took out of today's episode. Beneficial thing that you took out of today's episode. Okay, looking forward to connecting again next week. Inshallah and salamat, salamat.